In the wake of the overdose deaths at the Defqon.1 electronic dance music festival in Penrith this last weekend, it's worth taking some time to consider what solutions exist to prevent such deaths and related injuries in the future.
They say a week is a long time in politics, but holy mother of fuck, what a goddamned week. Apologies for the language, but Jesus Christ, this roller coaster of spills, rumours, leaks, and arithmetic seemed like it would never end.
How is this week not over yet? I mean, seriously. Today was a day that made most Australians long for a simpler time, when popular Prime Ministers were knifed overnight and the country could just move on. I'd laugh if it wasn't all just so fucking exhausting.
At the time of writing, the Prime Minister of the Commonwealth of Australia is Malcolm Turnbull.
There was movement in the nation, for the word had passed around That the dolt whom all regret was led astray, And had joined the wild right-wingers - he was worth a million pound, So all the banks had gathered to the fray.
An Australian Senator invoked the language of THE LITERAL NAZI PARTY to demand a plebiscite on the White Australia policy, 50 years after it was dismantled by Harold Holt and Gough Whitlam.
Barnaby Joyce is a self-interested, openly corrupt, opportunistic scumbag, with no place in Australian politics, but I wouldn't want him to kill himself.
Our brave reporter sets out on a journey of self-discovery as a routine trip home turns into a waking nightmare aboard a suburban train. Life will never be the same.
Eurydice Dixon was not murdered by just one man, her death came at the hands of all men, as we continue to fail to overcome our violent tendencies, and the culture of toxic masculinity that permeates society at all levels. We are responsible. We must do better.
Nothing signals the end of the Australian summer like ANZAC Day. The leaves are changing colour, the nights are getting cooler, and somewhere a brown person is being lynched in the media for daring to question "Australian values".