Nothing signals the end of the Australian summer like ANZAC Day. The leaves are changing colour, the nights are getting cooler, and somewhere a brown person is being lynched in the media for daring to question "Australian values".
Hey gang, let's rap. Old man Turnbull is about to drop a deuce on the economy, because his upcoming Federal Budget (which is like, where he hands out all the skrillah) is going to throw hella shade at younger voters, all because he wants to slide into dem Baby Boomer DMs. I'm shook y'all.
It is 50 years since Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. was murdered by white supremacy. We can never forget the fact that Dr. King's legacy was rewritten by the same establishment that helped pull the trigger 50 years ago.
There is no way back to legitimacy for Steve Smith and the current Australian cricket team. His captaincy is over, the international reputation of Australian sports is in tatters, and this cheating scandal goes all the way to the coach, Darren Lehmann.
For the last few weeks, I have been looking for a fresh take on world events, whether it was Trump and international events, the moral failings of celebrity culture, or the daily joke that has become Australian politics. And then my best friend had a heart attack.
This was written on Dharawal land. It contains links to sites that may use images of Aboriginal and Islander people now deceased.
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the Lower House, not a creature was stirring, except for Tony Abbott, though he would describe his behaviour as "defending a conservative vision for Australia".
After a certain point, doing nothing is an implicit endorsement of the status quo.
In Australia, the first Sunday in September is recognised as "Father's Day". While some may claim it has religious traditions dating back to the 14th and 15th centuries, deep down, they would know this claim is horseshit.
I'm just going to say it. Anyone boycotting the vote in this bullshit postal plebiscite is worse than Tony Abbott. He may be a homophobic piece of shit, but at least he's standing up for what he believes in. This is your chance to shut him up.