Daniel MacBride and His Noisy Backside

Once lived a boy named Daniel MacBride,
And he found it funny to pass wind inside.

“Oh Daniel, that’s filthy,” his teacher would chide.
“Why can you not take your gases outside?”

At home, his parents had tried and had tried,
But he would not listen, young Daniel MacBride.

“I like it, it’s funny” he said when they sighed.
“Mum, Dad, you don’t get it, my farts give me pride!”

When his tummy did rumble, he would smile very wide.
“Get ready,” said Daniel. “There’s nowhere to hide!”

He giggled and smirked as he leaned to one side.
It exploded and smelt like something had died.

Now, one day in math class, as he learned to divide;
Daniel felt like his tummy and back would collide.

A big build-up of air made Daniel decide,
That a loud noise was needed, one he could provide.

So he strained and he curled and he lifted his thigh,
Then he gave a big push… “OH NO!” Daniel cried.

“May I go to the bathroom?” he asked of Miss Pryde.
“There is lunch in 5 minutes,” she curtly replied.

He did not expect to be swiftly denied.
A stink then washed over the class like a tide.

A stink that would not, nor could not subside.
A stink that was coming from Daniel MacBride.

“Have you soiled your pants?” his teacher enquired.
Daniel panicked. “No Miss,” he rapidly lied.

It could not be hidden, so he chose to confide,
In one of his classmates, and hoped they would not deride.

Perhaps by some miracle his pants would have dried
Before lunch, Daniel prayed as he cautiously eyed

The door and the clock. BBBBBRRRRRIIIIINNNNNGGGGG. His plans were now fried.
Daniel resolved he would choose to reside

Indoors for lunch, lest his exit coincide
With exposure, he imagined, on a scale worldwide.

From that day and onwards he no longer supplied,
Any flatulent noises from his own backside.

If he had to break wind he wandered outside.
Good manners were what he made sure he applied.

Children should use this as a cautionary guide.
Lest they meet the same fate, as Daniel MacBride.


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