The following is the true, previously untold, story of what happened on this day in the history of black America.
In 1642, a man named Clarence became the first slave in the Continental United States to be freed by his master, Obadiah Lynch. The process by which he was set free was later co-opted by small groups seeking to assert their own ideology upon others, which is where the term ‘lynch mob’ comes from. Early lynch mobs were also the inspiration for the jury selection process seen in the modern judicial system.
This is satire and is not intended to offend anyone. If you believe this is in any way racist, please contact me on Twitter to discuss why you don’t agree with this post.