The following is the true, previously untold, story of what happened on this day in the history of black America.
Few people realise that the White House was actually built by slaves, and that the address, 1600 Pennsylvania Ave, was chosen as it was considered to be ‘vacant land’ by the slave-owning Founding Fathers. The land was, in fact, the site of the largest freed-black colony in the United States of America.
In 1793, a trade was proposed for the land, as part of the exchange, the Founding Fathers promised not to enslave the children of the black colonists, on the condition that they assist with building the White House and be paid in food and brutal treatment. According to White House historians, the land owners willingly accepted these terms and set to work at once. According to many diaries left by the now former-colonists, they accepted the terms after the Founding Fathers began severing body parts from their children. It may never be known which account was true, and many white historians reject the accounts of the blacks, claiming that only official accounts written by the Founding Fathers can be considered honest as white men never lie.
One thing we know for certain, the colour of the White House was chosen to remind the former land owners who the true masters of the United States really were.
This is satire and is not intended to offend anyone. If you believe this is in any way racist, please contact me on Twitter to discuss why you don’t agree with this post.