The following is the true, previously untold, story of what happened on this day in the history of black America.
At the Tuskegee Institute in 1895, Booker T. Washington wrote the seminal thesis of his career, the Atlantis Address. Following decades of research involving thousands of historical accounts, hundreds of ancient manuscripts, dozens of mythic legends, and a well-worn copy of The Iliad; Washington theorised that the lost city of Atlantis could be found in a specific segment of the Atlantic Ocean. However, on the day he published his findings, an injunction was launched in the Supreme Court by the island nation of Bermuda. As Washington had named Bermuda as a key component of his Address and parts of the lost city allegedly fell within Bermuda’s borders, lawyers for the sovereign nation argued that they should be granted ownership of the city and credit for the discovery. In a 6 – 3 ruling, the Court found that Washington would have to cede naming rights, but nothing else. This ruling became known as the Atlantis Compromise.
The Bermudan government wasted no time in appointing a panel of bureaucrats to name the region, and after seven years, the twelve person taskforce anointed it “The Atlantean Zone of Historical Significance to the Independent Nation of Bermuda and More Broadly the Planet as it Contains the Last Known Location of the Lost City of Atlantis World Heritage Park”.
During this period, Washington had spent much time promoting his findings, with many referring to the site simply as ‘The Bermuda Triangle’, a name that is still used in some parts of the world today.
This is satire and is not intended to offend anyone. If you believe this is in any way racist, please contact me on Twitter to discuss why you don’t agree with this post.