They say a week is a long time in politics, but holy mother of fuck, what a goddamned week. Apologies for the language, but Jesus Christ, this roller coaster of spills, rumours, leaks, and arithmetic seemed like it would never end.
How is this week not over yet? I mean, seriously. Today was a day that made most Australians long for a simpler time, when popular Prime Ministers were knifed overnight and the country could just move on. I'd laugh if it wasn't all just so fucking exhausting.
At the time of writing, the Prime Minister of the Commonwealth of Australia is Malcolm Turnbull.
There was movement in the nation, for the word had passed around That the dolt whom all regret was led astray, And had joined the wild right-wingers - he was worth a million pound, So all the banks had gathered to the fray.
An Australian Senator invoked the language of THE LITERAL NAZI PARTY to demand a plebiscite on the White Australia policy, 50 years after it was dismantled by Harold Holt and Gough Whitlam.
Barnaby Joyce is a self-interested, openly corrupt, opportunistic scumbag, with no place in Australian politics, but I wouldn't want him to kill himself.