There was movement in the nation, for the word had passed around That the dolt whom all regret was led astray, And had joined the wild right-wingers - he was worth a million pound, So all the banks had gathered to the fray.
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the Lower House, not a creature was stirring, except for Tony Abbott, though he would describe his behaviour as "defending a conservative vision for Australia".
It's incredible how much can be achieved in three years. Goodness, it was incredible how much could be achieved in just one day. On that holiest of Sundays, the borders were closed, the state religion established, the welfare rats were forced into the jobs they claimed they couldn't find, and the terrorists at the ABC were executed for treason.