Anyone who has spent more than five minutes in politics is very aware of "dirt units", and how the major parties deploy lies, gossip, and spin against opponents and smaller parties that are posing a threat. Furthermore, all claims of preference deals are false, voters make the choice as to where and how preferences flow and have done in NSW since 2003.
Last year, I tried to offer a white, male perspective on the issue of January 26, because I saw that there was clearly a market for Caucasian mediocrity in the "sensible Centre". Let's try this again.
On a scale of one to ten, Australian politics in 2018 has been a steaming pile of shit. And that's putting it mildly. We've seen yet another LibSpill; Senators openly pining for the policies of the Nazi Party; the government supporting white supremacy; and Bill Shorten still hasn't found a way to make people like him.
This week we witnessed the collapse of the Liberal Party of Australia. In the most exceptionally stupid display of unhinged arrogance from any Australian government in living memory, Scott Morrison and the Liberals signalled their intent to make Bill Shorten the next Prime Minister.
They say a week is a long time in politics, but holy mother of fuck, what a goddamned week. Apologies for the language, but Jesus Christ, this roller coaster of spills, rumours, leaks, and arithmetic seemed like it would never end.
How is this week not over yet? I mean, seriously. Today was a day that made most Australians long for a simpler time, when popular Prime Ministers were knifed overnight and the country could just move on. I'd laugh if it wasn't all just so fucking exhausting.
At the time of writing, the Prime Minister of the Commonwealth of Australia is Malcolm Turnbull.
There was movement in the nation, for the word had passed around
That the dolt whom all regret was led astray,
And had joined the wild right-wingers - he was worth a million pound,
So all the banks had gathered to the fray.
An Australian Senator invoked the language of THE LITERAL NAZI PARTY to demand a plebiscite on the White Australia policy, 50 years after it was dismantled by Harold Holt and Gough Whitlam.
Our brave reporter sets out on a journey of self-discovery as a routine trip home turns into a waking nightmare aboard a suburban train. Life will never be the same.